maybe I had lied

de cómo dejar ir cuando todavía no acabo de entender porqué tengo que dejar ir.
todavía no quiero dejar ir.
hago mis pequeños esfuerzos prácticos con la esperanza de que ellos acaben convenciendo a mi interior, a mi parte sagrada, que nada entiende a mi parte profana; con todo, mi parte profana es la única que pone de su parte. quisiera al menos, que tuviera más peso esta última, si me gustaria, si.
y de co-co-ro-sie que él me dio, no se dio cuenta lo que hizo.

Now that I'm alone I feel the lonely brokenness
Of all the wicked avenues I've ever sold my love on
All these moments of meekness and trembling subsided
I'm the outright abandon of this orphan child
Home is on the highway living on soft bread and solace
I guess I'm waiting for nightfall or a solar eclipse
And to wake up half empty
Only to be filled again with mourning
He's my evil shadow dove
My black Palamito
Can't break him like a diamond skull
I can't seem to do so
Can't just rub him out like the
Mob used to do so
Like memories of porno and tearstains
And tobacco Oh it's a mini disastro
Bigger than the ice age don't know if baby dinosaurs
Maybe could live through it, like Indians and butterflies
What's crushed is my spirit, Oh I fear it is too fragile
Like fall leaves burn like paper

I always knew I would spend a lot of time alone
No one would understand me
Maybe I should go and live amongst the animals
Spend all my time amongst the animals
And on the tracks I would go they lead to the sea
To be amongst the animals

Oh I'm just a fall leaf something simple and shy like that
That's how my heart lies down beside the sidewalk
Like an empty restaurant filled with perfume and balloons
I sit and entertain the bisarro ghosts of my soul
His name still lingers maybe lactates on my tongue
Perhaps I'm just teething for a foreign fallen destiny
Miserable but mine, I look like his mother
Or Sophia Loren in an old fashioned movie
Slow motion I cling to my child desperate for love
One day soon my brother died, made me remember all the
Subordinate feelings I cast aside
Maybe I had lied when I said I was ok
Just getting along like a little song that stops to sing and say
"Wild willow, windy winter won't you blow through me
My whole eternity"

I always knew I would spend a lot of time alone
No one would understand me
Maybe I should go and live amongst the animals
Spend all my time amongst the animals
And on the tracks I would go they lead to the sea
To be amongst the animals

dicen ellos. y si escribo esto es para poder medianamente funcionar afuera, porque prefiero congelarlo aquí y no en mi expresión.